Unknown Future

So, right now, I'm in the application process for medical school. I took a shot and applied to 19 different schools all over the United States. It was my hope to be accepted in a medical school within my home state, California. And there are 5 California medical schools, so I thought I had a good chance.

But I may be wrong.

At this point, I have received twelve "no." Twelve rejection letters so far. Only seven are still in the game. And there is only one month left to this application process.

There is still hope. All I need is one medical school to say "yes." And my dream of becoming a doctor will come true.

I've had this doctor dream for a long time now. Ever since I was thirteen. As a kid, I was always changing what I wanted to be “when I grow up” – a marine biologist, a movie critic, a crime scene investigator, a basketball player, a professional golfer and so forth. But it wasn’t until I was in 7th or 8th grade, I decided to become a surgeon when I grow up. One day, there was a science lab where we had to dissect and examine a sheep’s eye, a cow’s brain, pig intestines, and another day with a frog and a worm. And I remember all the girls in the class were grossed out. Especially the girls in my group. Nobody wanted to touch that slimy stuff. I was the only one who wasn’t freaked out in any way. I was just fascinated by the complexity of these dissection parts. I was right in there, ready to take a shot at this stuff, and get my hands a little dirty. Ever since then, I’ve wanted to be a surgeon. Particularly a heart surgeon. That's a desire God had given to me over the years. That’s what I’ve been working towards all these years.

But the next step is medical school. So, I'm a bit more nervous than I would like at this point. All signs say "no" because the application process is almost over. If I don't get anything by the end of March, I won't be going to a medical school this upcoming fall.

And I'm trying to keep my hope is God and to heed towards His plan, for God has greater plans for me than I can ever imagine. One of my favorite verses keep coming to mind - Psalm 27:1. "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Lord, help me to rid my endless fears. You have been so faithful for all my years. Take my life and let it be always only for my King.

I will not fear, but wait for the Lord. My future is known to Him. And I walk by faith with my Lord.